"Are you all mildly entertained? By who? That's not what I'm here for."
Festival Hall is full to the brim with people buying tote bags that read, "Don't be mean to animals or I'll kill you," as the minutes tick by to the moment when Morrissey takes the stage in Melbourne once again.
There are no support acts. Instead, we have a specially curated video that can only be described as half an hour of music videos interspersed with suicide poems, British stand-up comedy and war footage. It makes for an interesting opening, as we go from the likes of Ramones, Alice Cooper and Tina Turner through to segments of screaming and laughing.
Morrissey and his band walk on stage, bowing to each other before taking their positions. These aloof theatrics carry on throughout the night. It's nice to see that Morrissey's voice is still match-fit. Hearing his clipped crooning takes you to a room where posters of The Cure are stained with cigarette smoke. It's not just the Morrissey show, however; every single member of his backing band is multi-talented, taking on accordion, keyboards, trumpet, didgeridoo and even a gong.
There's no shortage of political commentary from Morrissey, whether speaking directly to the crowd or just conveying the messages through song. He asks the crowd why we care about the silly, silly Clinton-Trump debate in America before launching into World Peace Is None Of Your Business with footage of police brutality. He conjures that Morrissey melancholy that everyone loves with hits like Suedehead and Everyday Is Like Sunday and carries the atmosphere outside of the songs, asking everyone, "Are you all mildly entertained? By who? That's not what I'm here for."
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The set list incorporates a few songs by The Smiths, most notably Meat Is Murder and How Soon Is Now?. Meat Is Murder is spun into a much heavier and more horrifying track, playing out at the end of the show with an accompanying clip featuring slaughterhouses and animal abuse before the words "Meat Is Murder" are prominently displayed.
Morrissey still wore his shirt half-unbuttoned throughout and removed it at the end. Some things never change.