Pornland: Porn Again.

Pornland play The Zoo on Thursday.

Never let it be said that Pornland don’t care, in fact they literally give a flying fuck. The Flying Fuck is a little piece of merchandising genius; the band’s own customised golden frisbee. I imagine they’re readily available at the gigs for lots of frolicking good fun.

Vocalist Slatty D is the man on this occasion, talking about frolicking good fun and where it all started.

''The band got together after a screening of Debbie Does Dallas at Adelaide Uni.  It was the cut version, the R-rated version so it was crap but the soundtrack was good,” he said.

Porn music makes me think fat, dirty bass lines and syrupy sax, but there’s a lot more happening on the album.

“Well porn music is high-energy, shock tactics stuff, ya know. And there’s plenty of stuff [on the album] to shock, I mean there’s a helicopter sound on one track and there’s explosions and stuff like that. It’s all about the excitement of it.”

Everything but the kitchen sink in your porn eh?

“Pretty much, and the kitchen sink can feature.”

Sounds uncomfortable.

“I’ve got a home movie like that, [but] the main link between us and porn besides the name obviously is the losing of inhibitions. Porn has no inhibitions.”

Do you live the lifestyle?

“Ahhhh from time to time,” he laughs.

Whenever you can I bet. Any porn clichés in the live show?

“It kinda doesn’t really work too well on stage, that’s for a more intimate sort of setting. With four or five people around you can do that successfully and it’ll work but if you’ve got a whole heap of people most of them are gonna miss it.”

How about props?

“There’s always props happening, but mainly human props. We just do stupid things. The drummer likes to get up and run around every so often, he takes a flying dive at his cymbal at the end of the set.”

Good to hear he’s survived the couple of hundred live shows you guys have done.

“Yeah yeah he’s still alive, he doesn’t do it every show, just when he gets excited.  At the end of the show he’ll rip one of the cymbals off the stand, someone will be holding it on one side of the stage and he’ll run across the stage and take a flying dive at it.”

Yikes, head first?

“He’s been known to do that. He’s been known to throw a shoe at it. He’s been known to get someone to throw a drum stick at him while he’s running, he’ll jump, catch it mid-air and hit it with that. He’s been known to do all sorts of things.”

Craziness, sounds like the crowd needs protection from you.

“Ohhh no no no no the crowd doesn’t need protecting from us, the crowd… actually yeah sometimes,” he laughs.

Do all these shenanigans work with the ladies?

“Hell, we can’t give those sorts of things away. What is this? I’m not the type to kiss and tell.”

You just put it in your songs.

“Yeah that’s fair.”

Any particularly hardcore fans who maybe get a little too into it?

“There have been some in the past who have been a little worrying, I must admit.  Again I’m not going to go too much into that because… well… there’s reasons why we need security.”

Maybe some angry husbands, allegedly angry over some alleged sexual conquests on your part. Allegedly, of course.

“I haven’t stated it, and I can’t confirm or deny it.”

Excited about coming to Queensland?

“For sure, some of the boys are excited about going to Wet’n’Wild.  I think that’s what the plan is, we’re hoping to get in for a day there.”

Get them to open it for ya mid-week, have a Pornland Day, swimming costumes optional.

(laughs) “Obviously. Oh no no no. I’ve got an embarrassing story about getting sunburnt… there. It was at a nude beach in Adelaide.”

They have nude beaches in Adelaide?

“Yeah they do, I think it was the first nude beach in Australia. Seriously I got burnt. On my genitals.”

Owww. Still hard to believe a band named Pornland is from Adelaide, is the climate there good for porn?

“Adelaide’s the city of churches, and the city of strange sex crimes.”

They do go hand in hand, don’t they.

“They do. Ya get all sorts of weird stuff going on. But we’re about the fun stuff, ya know it’s fun, it’s all consensual, it’s good clean fun. Not necessarily so clean but it’ll come out in the wash.”