EP Walkthru: merci, mercy - is it me, or is it you?

A couple years back we were treated to a little insight into fresh-faced pop star merci, mercy’s debut EP no thank you, no thanks, as the emerging Eora/ Sydney based artist had just begun winning over the nation and the world alike with her vulnerable brand of pop. With the support of Spotify through their RADAR emerging artist program, Jack Saunders and his Radio 1 Future Artists show, high rotation on triple j, and recently showcasing at Fortitude Valley’s Bigsound, merci continues to forge a path as a serious force in pop, unveiling her latest EP is it me, or is it you? today.

Continuing to build a reputation as an artist who isn't afraid to invite you into her inner world with big and relatable pop melodies, as seen with EP singles; the anthemic Black Cloud, tender Sick To My Stomach, and infectious Winnie Crush, merci is at a point in her career where she can best articulate her vision by collaborating with some of her favourite songwriters and producers - five out of six tracks on is it me, or is it you? crafted alongside producer Chris Collins (Azure Ryder, Middle Kids, Gang of Youths), and one from Dave Hammer (Genesis Owusu, Montaigne, Lime Cordiale) to round it out.

Pairing lush and polished production with beautiful composition and refined thoughtful songwriting, merci, mercy elaborates that “Is it me, or is it you? is all about the relationship I have with myself and how that affects others in my life. I was really particular in the order of the track listing. I needed it to tell the story. Starting off with ‘into you’ where its simply not my fault as to why things in my life are not quite working out. Then it takes you on a journey through how my mental health effects my relationships with substances and the people I love. It begins to get hopeful when ‘Black Cloud’ comes around because it’s a glimmer of hope amongst all the mess. The last song ‘Uneasy Me’, it's the perfect ending song because it's not hidden by poppy charm, it’s just raw. ‘Uneasy Me’ explains how awful it truly is suffering from mental health and how it can rip you apart from the inside out to the point where you lose everything that used to make you beautiful. The name is it you, or is it me? Is an evaluation of who is really the course of the situation. Is someone else the reason for my struggles or is it just all on me. I’m hoping with this EP that the people around me will have more of an understanding of who I am, without me having to explain/justify who I am and why. The themes are heavily revolved around my mental health and the impacts it has on me and others around me.”

To celebrate the release of is it me, or is it you? we asked merci, mercy to give us a deeper scoop on what went into each and every track on the stunning new EP. Be sure to hit play, and take a read of what she had to say below.

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Into You

‘Into You’ is a complicated story about a relationship between me and my guy best friend. We were so close, and I felt so comfortable with him, until we kissed one time and then after that it went downhill. He pressured me into doing things with him I wasn’t comfortable doing. I told him no so many times that I ended up just giving in just so he would stop asking. It was a really complicated situation because I was growing feelings for him, and I knew that he always had feelings for me but after the dynamic changed, I just couldn’t find those feelings anymore.

He even lied to people about what happened between us, which made me feel even worse about myself. I was so upset because I was into him but after that experience, I couldn’t look at him the same.

The song is basically about the pressures that are put on you to be sexually active with someone when you tell them you like them. It’s like it becomes expected, especially if you have been kissing that person. ‘Into You’ is also about all the other guys throughout my life who made me feel bad about not being sexual with them when I said I liked them. It took a long time to learn that I didn’t owe someone anything physical just to prove that I liked them. This is a song to all those people who have ever felt that pressure to do something they didn’t want to. You didn’t deserve that pressure and they didn’t deserve your love. You can take as long as you like to be sexual with someone and if they make you feel bad for it then they can fuck right off.

Too Easy

During the time of writing this song I was talking to my boyfriend about our relationship, and because of my insecurities, I thought it was easier to be mean to him and leave him because of my fear of heartbreak; it was scary being in love and I didn’t want him to hurt me. But I decided it was all worth it and stuck around. We’re still together today.

Winnie Crush

Winnie Crush is a song about a toxic relationship that I have with myself. These bad habits that I’m letting take control over my life. I can barely afford what is good for my body let alone what’s bad for it. In this mind of mine I’ve tricked myself to believe that this is what’s good for me, that it’s something that makes me happy. I can’t afford to do this to myself anymore, I can’t afford a love that doesn’t exist.

Black Cloud

Black cloud is about my mental health taking a toll on my relationship. I'm unable to experience the simple joys of life with my partner because I'm consumed by a black cloud. I am the type of person that needs to know it will work out or else I don't want to bother and try. This song shows that I am working on myself to make the relationship successful. Unfortunately, I am wrapped up in this black cloud but I'm willing to do the work because I know how much I love this person. Life would be a tragedy if I didn't at least try to make it work because I never would've known what could have come from it. I can't allow myself to fear any outcome that might come from it. Life is full of tragedies and if you are scared of them, you'll never see the beauty the world has to offer. My normal tactics would be to leave as soon as the other person forms feelings for me. This person is the one person I have not done that to and I think that's pretty special. I said i would never write love songs because i thought no one would want to love someone who was so fucked up. But here I am being loved by someone despite all my troubles. Moral of the story is your mental health problems should not impact how much someone can love you. It makes you, you. Also, as you can see, I'm trying to not let my fear of the future dictate my present.

Uneasy

When writing uneasily I was in a really bad place. I was being so cruel to my family and taking all my feelings out on them. My sister would try to tell me that she didn't recognise me anymore, but I'd just ignore her and say awful things back. When I was younger, I used to be so patient and giving, I'd always put others before myself. My excuse for being so cruel was for finally putting myself first but that was not the case. I just didn't care about anything anymore and barely cared for myself. I had given up on life. Writing this song really made my family realise what I was going through. My mental health is in a really dark place at the moment and it's hard to show the people I love how much I care for them through actions when getting out of bed is hard enough. I've always had a bit of a temper which can lead to a lot of arguments with the people I love and has put a strain on every relationship I have. Sometimes it's hard for people to understand what you are going through when they don't recognise feeling like that. If you are someone who loves me this is basically me telling you that I am really not okay. If you are someone who has been struggling and when you struggle you take it out on the people you love, this song is for you. You are not alone and we are not terrible people, we are just trying to exist when our whole world is against us. I am talking openly about my mental health because I don't want people to end up like me and I don't want families to suffer because they don't talk openly about mental health nor accept it as a real thing. You don't have to be someone who has gone through something traumatic to have bad mental health.

Sick To My Stomach

Sick to my Stomach is about my addiction with alcohol and cigarettes and how it may seem like old news to some people because it's what I always sing about. As a person right now in my life I am not struggling with heartbeat for another but for myself. When I wrote this,I felt like anyone I told about my addiction would question it because it wasn’t life threatening in their eyes. This song will take you on a journey of me and my self-worth. It is really showing you that I have come to a realisation that I begin to understand what is truly going on with myself and that it really is an issue people should also start worrying about. The chorus shows that all these things I prefer cause me to suffer. “Take me home’’ is a meaning for someone to take me to a safe space where substances were not an issue anymore and I couldn't use them, aka when I am young and all of this has no meaning to me. I always end up putting myself in a situation where I am alone at night with nothing but a bottle of wine and my cigarettes. The second verse tells you that I'm opening my eyes to see what is going on and seeing that I don't think I will be able to see it because of the mind set I am in. I am worried people will see me differently or even just not care at all what is going on anymore because it is a recurring thing. This is one of my favourite songs I have ever written because it not only sounds musically raw and honest, but the lyrics replicate that.

merci mercy is it me or is it you