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"Neil Finn nonchalantly walked out on the stage and proceeded to do what he does best."
"... There they were, in all their rock'n'roll glory, Guns N' F'N Roses."
"Budding musicians, put down that Stratocaster and pick up a Stradivarius; metal belongs to the cello."
"Breaking bones never looked like more fun."
"To really appreciate the next few minutes of banter, you just had to channel your inner 14-year-old pubescent schoolboy."
"Raw, loud and with bucketloads of passion."
"It was a brutal assault, a wall of sound that whipped the punters into a frenzy."
"Cherie Currie hit the ground running."
"The giant, enduring mascot came out, taunted the audience, terrorised the band and was swiftly disembowelled by Dickinson."