LOL-Worthy Mondegreens, From Banana Chewing Gum To ‘Crimea River’

Mondegreens are always a great source of delight, especially if you’re singing in the face of a mate – in public – while they carefully enunciate misheard lyrics they’ve been confidently belting out for years, and you’re all like, “Say WHAT!?”

Slips of the ear often result from the singer’s poor articulation (we’re looking at you, James Reyne!). “The rain” and “rock’n’roll” are also repeat offenders when it comes to mangled lyrics, mistaken for Lorraine and sausage roll (especially when we’re hungry?), respectively, to hilarious effect. 

Please find the below cherry-picked list of our absolute fave mondegreens to save you the mortification of wising up—in real-time—as the bouncing ball lands on the correct lyrics during your next karaoke session.      

So what exactly is a mondegreen?

Mondegreens are misheard versions of not only song lyrics but also phrases, sayings, slogans and even prayers. Shout-out to the school kid sitting behind us on a bus ages ago who had a crack at reciting The Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father, who art in Heaven. Harold be thy name…” – still one of our all-time faves.

We’re tipping that when Francis Scott Key penned the lyrics for America’s national anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, he couldn’t possibly have envisioned that the opening line (“Oh say, can you see…”) would be aurally misunderstood as “José, can you see?”

When a mate visited from abroad, I suggested we meet at the Grace Darling Hotel in Collingwood. But she phoned me, perplexed: “I’ve walked up and down Smith Street numerous times and can’t find a ‘Gray Starling Hotel’ anywhere…” – this soon became our preferred name for this pub. 

Heck, even William Shakespeare is not immune from errors of misperception! See: “Now is the winter of our discontent” (from The Bard’s play, Richard III), creatively heard as ‘...the winter of our disco tent’.  

Etymology: “The point about what I shall hereafter call mondegreens since no one else has thought up a word for them, is that they are better than the original…” – American writer Sylvia Wright coined this term in her article, The Death Of Lady Mondegreen, which was originally published in Harper's Magazine (1954).

‘Lady Mondegreen’ is actually a misheard passage from a popular Scottish ballad titled The Bonnie Earl O’ Moray, which Wright’s mother would often recite to her as a child. The actual line is: “They have slain the Earl of Murray, and layd [sic] him on the green.” 

The word was officially added to the Miriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary in 2008, and other dictionaries have since followed suit.  

The clue’s in the song title 

During a recent Daryl Braithwaite show, a neighbour in the crowd confidently joined in the singalong for the chorus: “WHAT’S SO WRONG?” – huh? The song was One Summer – talk about a slip of the ear; these misheard lyrics are literally the song’s title!  

I also recall singing some creative Bee Gees lyrics in the back seat of my dad’s car: “Bald-headed woman/ Bald-headed woman to me-e-eeeee…” Cue barely contained laughter from up front as Mum and Dad silently agreed my More Than A Woman mondegreen was way too funny to correct – all the better for future LOLs every single time this song pumps outta the car stezza, my dear!   

Since this sheeny, falsetto-celebrating disco classic is on the Bee Gees’ Saturday Night Fever soundtrack (1977), I’m guessing I was about seven when I enthusiastically belted out what was quite possibly my first-ever mondegreen. And, to this day, every single time More Than A Woman comes on when my parents are around, they delight in sharing my ‘customised’ lyrics with anyone within earshot.     

More LOL-worthy examples:

‘It’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll’ 

Actual lyrics: “It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock’n’roll.” 

AC/DC – It’s A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock’N’Roll)

‘I won’t take rock’n’roll’

Actual lyrics: “High voltage rock’n’roll.”

AC/DC – High Voltage 

‘Or should I just keep chasing penguins’

Actual lyrics: “Or should I just keep chasing pavements.”

Adele – Chasing Pavements 

‘Banana chewing gum’

Actual lyrics: “Oh no, not you again.”

Australian Crawl – Oh No Not You Again 

‘Sweet dreams are made of cheese’

Actual lyrics: “Sweet dreams are made of this.” 

Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) 

‘I’m living in a monarchy’

Actual lyrics: “I’m living in a minor key.”

Tim Finn – In A Minor Key    

‘The girl from Emphysema goes walking’

Actual lyrics: “The girl from Ipanema goes walking.” 

Astrud Gilberto – The Girl From Ipanema

‘Take me down to a very nice city’

Actual lyrics: “Take me down to paradise city.”

Guns N’ Roses – Paradise City 

‘Blame it on Lorraine’

Actual lyrics: “Blame it on the rain.” 

Milli Vanilli – Blame It On The Rain 

‘When a man loves a walnut’

Actual lyrics: “When a man loves a woman.” 

Percy Sledge – When A Man Loves A Woman 

‘He’s got the whole world in his pants’ 

Actual lyrics: “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” 

Sing Hosanna – He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands 

‘Chicken to ride’

Actual lyrics: “Ticket To Ride.” 

The Beatles – Ticket To Ride 

‘Alex the seal’ 

Actual lyrics: “Our lips are sealed.” 

The Go-Go’s – Our Lips Are Sealed 

‘Sue Lawley’

Actual lyrics: “So lonely.”

The Police – So Lonely 

‘Crimea river’ 

Actual lyrics: “Cry me a river.” 

Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River

But that makes exactly zero sense! 

Names were withheld to protect the guilty, but a uni mate who was no stranger to Mondegreens once strutted across the dancefloor during the You’re The One That I Want portion of The Grease Megamix, signalling she’d take the Danny Zuko parts (played by John Travolta): “My blue jeans/ They’re multiplying…” – um, it’s “I’ve got chills…”, babe.

I’ve gotta bow down to a clubbing pal from back in the day as well for her super-creative take on Prince’s Controversy, which she audibly misunderstood thusly: “Count your pussy.”   

However, the GOAT in this category has just gotta be that time a contestant on Music Idol, aspiring Bulgarian singer Valentina Hasan, introduced her audition piece as “a song by Mariah Carey: ‘Ken Lee’” – clearly mishearing Without You's “I can't live” lyrics. Comedy gold, that's best watched with 'subtitles' on.

See also:

‘Don’t know much about the French-eyed chook’

Actual lyrics: “Don’t know much about the French I took.”

Sam Cooke – Wonderful World 

‘A young girl with eyes like potatoes’

Actual lyrics: “A young girl with eyes like the desert.”

Madonna – La Isla Bonita 

‘Saving his life from this warm sausage tea’ 

Actual lyrics: “Spare him his life from this monstrosity.” 

Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody

‘Don’t go, Jason Waterfalls’

Actual lyrics: “Don’t go chasing waterfalls.”

TLC – Waterfalls

‘Disclexia’ In Film & TV

We all recall Lisa Kudrow’s Friends character, Phoebe Buffay, mistakenly referencing Tiny Dancer as “that song Elton John wrote for the guy from Who’s The Boss, ‘Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza’.” FYI: Tiny Dancer was released in 1972, years before Who’s The Boss aired on TV.

During the film Bull Durham, Tim Robbins’ character, Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh, has a crack at singing Otis Redding’s Try A Little Tenderness: "She may be woolly. Women do get woolly. Because of all the stress…” Kevin Costner’s character, Lawrence Columbus "Crash" Davis, then corrects him, also pointing out that “No one is woolly”. Actual lyrics: "Oh, she may be weary/ And young girls. they do get wearied/ Wearing that same old shaggy dress." 

Or how about that bit in The Wedding Singer when Angela Featherstone – who plays Linda, the fiancée of Robbie Hart (played by Adam Sandler) – tries to wake him up. She softly sings one of Wham!’s smash hits: "Wake me up before you go-go, don't leave me hangin' on like a solo…" Actual lyrics: "Wake me up before you go-go/ Don't leave me hangin' on like a yo-yo." 

Bonus LOLs:

‘See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen’

Actual lyrics: “See that girl/ Watch that scene/ Digging the dancing queen.”

ABBA – Dancing Queen

‘It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not’

Actual lyrics: “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.” 

Bon Jovi – Livin’ On A Prayer 

‘There’s a bathroom on the right’

Actual lyrics: “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”

Creedence Clearwater Revival – Bad Moon Rising  

‘Slow talkin’ Walter, the fire engine guy’

Actual lyrics: “Smoke on the water/ A fire in the sky.”

Deep Purple – Smoke On The Water 

‘Money for nothing and your chips for free’

Actual lyrics: “Money for nothing and your chicks for free.”

Dire Straits – Money For Nothing 

‘The ants are my friends’

Actual lyrics: “The answer my friend.”

Bob Dylan – Blowin’ In The Wind

‘‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy’

Actual lyrics: “‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky.”

Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze 

Did you know? It’s widely believed that Hendrix intentionally slurred his diction while recording this chorus and would often ham up these ‘incorrect’ lyrics alongside The Jimi Hendrix Experience bassist Noel Redding during live performances. 

‘Annie, are you voting?’

Actual lyrics: “Annie, are you okay?”

Michael Jackson – Smooth Criminal 

‘I wanna rock’n’roll all night, and part of every day’

Actual lyrics: “I wanna rock’n’roll all night/ And party every day.”

KISS – Rock And Roll All Nite

‘Amstel Light’

Actual lyrics: “Exit light.”

Metallica – Enter Sandman

‘She's seen better days outside’

Actual lyrics: “She's got Bette Davis eyes.” 

Missing Persons – Bette Davis Eyes

‘I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone’

Actual lyrics: “I can see clearly now the rain has gone.”

Johnny Nash – I Can See Clearly Now 

‘Just like the one-winged dog’

Actual lyrics: “Just like the white-winged dove.”

Stevie Nicks – Edge Of Seventeen 

‘Here we are now, in containers’/‘I’m a wino, it’s contagious’

Actual lyrics: “Here we are now, entertain us.”

Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit 

‘Free chowder’ 

Actual lyrics: “Reach out and...” 

Noiseworks – Touch 

‘Drunk driving, then you wake up’

Actual lyrics: “You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail.”

Louis Prima – Jump, Jive, An’ Wail

‘Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight’ 

Actual lyrics: “That’s me in the corner/ That’s me in the spotlight.” 

R.E.M. – Losing My Religion 

‘Calling Jamaica’ 

Actual lyrics: “Call me when you try to wake her up.” 

R.E.M. – The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite

‘We built this city on sausage rolls’

Actual lyrics: “We built this city on rock’n’roll.”

Starship – We Built This City 

‘The girl with colitis goes by’

Actual lyrics: “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.”

The Beatles – Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

‘Then I saw her face, now I’m gonna leave her’

Actual lyrics: “Then I saw her face/ Now I’m a believer.”

The Monkees – I’m A Believer 

‘Movin’ to the country, I’m gonna eat a lot of preachers’

Actual lyrics: “Movin’ to the country, I’m gonna eat a lot of peaches.”

The Presidents Of The United States Of America – Peaches 

‘I’ll never leave your pizza burning’

Actual lyrics: “I’ll never be your beast of burden.”

The Rolling Stones – Beast Of Burden

‘I watched you suffer, a Dalek in pain . . .’

Actual lyrics: “...a dull, aching pain.” 

The Rolling Stones – Wild Horses

‘Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you’

Actual lyrics: “Every time you go away/ You take a piece of me with you.”

Paul Young – Every Time You Go Away